Loving-kindness meditation is comprised of the repetition of some simple phrases. With each repetition, we are expressing intention, planting the seeds of loving wishes over and over in our heart. With a loving heart as a background, all that we attempt, all that we encounter, will open and flow easily.

We begin by directing the phrases towards ourselves. You can recite inwardly or out loud these traditional phrases directed to your own wellbeing:

 

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be peaceful

 

We begin with ourselves because without loving ourselves it is impossible to love others. We repeat these phrases over and over, letting the feelings permeate our body and mind. Once you are comfortable with the phrases, you can also expand them:

 

May I be safe and protected from inner and outer harm

May I be peaceful and happy

May my body be strong and healthy, and heal itself over and over

May I take care of myself with ease and joy

 

The experience of loving-kindness may not happen at first. It can seem a little uncomfortable at first to sit and repeat the phrases, especially when we don’t understand what we are doing. It also takes effort and concentration to repeat the phrases. Sometimes you might get sleepy or bored while repeating the phrases; if this happens, don’t judge yourself. Boredom happens sometimes. Try to notice if you feel shut down. You do not need to manufacture some type of artificial, loving energy. It is the loving kindness itself that will eventually break the barrier. When we don’t seem to connect, we need to back off, and trust the process instead of feeling like a failure. Bring gentleness and patience to the process. Tune in to your own goodness, or a beautiful quality of someone else that touches your heart. That is the connection - it can be as simple as an appreciation of something good.

We are all very different in the way that we find our natural entry point to the connection to the quality of the heart, to the tranquil energy of the heart. The instructions might feel too much sometimes, and they might feel like they don’t resonate with you.

Some teachers start with the forgiveness practice first, to purify the heart and only after that, they teach the loving kindness practice. The forgiveness practice goes like this:

 

To whom I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly, I ask forgiveness

To those who have hurt me knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive

I forgive myself for hurting myself knowingly or unknowingly

 

You can repeat each phrase four times, and repeat the whole process three times.

This is a good way to free the heart, free the mind, and make it so there is no room for hatred.

            It is important within these practices that you set your intention so gentleness and patience come into play as you repeat the words. The connection will come easier, and then the heart can stretch. Once you have connected you will get a felt-sense of ease. You won’t feel separate, and you will feel in touch with some kind of true bond. After, we need to maintain the connection and generate this sense of tenderness towards others.

You can also check: what does the energy of kindness do? If you receive kindness from someone, let’s say unconditionally—it can be a very simple gesture—someone opening the door for you, say, and you may feel touched and appreciative. Inside you may feel a shift when it happens. Then you might want to open the door for someone else, too. Kindness spreads itself; we don’t actually spread it!